Hot cross swans

I’m hoping the good readers of CheapEats can help me solve a mystery involving swans, hot cross buns, and the Grand Canal.

Yesterday evening I took a stroll from Dolphin’s Barn down to Baggot Street. SnackBox and I enocuntered three dead lobsters along the canal, opposite an old bearded man with long white hair who was feeding a packet of hot cross buns to the greedy, lucky swans.

“Put down those hot cross buns, sure there’s lobsters over there,” SnackBox said to the old man, who responded by completely ignoring him. We walked on.

But as we strolled from Harold’s Cross down to Portobello College, we began to step around hundreds of hot cross buns. Hundreds. The entire stretch was strewn with hot cross buns and the gorging swans were waddling with glee (of course, as all sensible ornithologists know, swan obesity is a growing problem).

At different intervals, walkers, the homeless, and a few slightly deranged mutterers, were were emptying out more big bags full of hot cross buns to join the hundreds that were already there. We asked a few people where all these hot cross buns came from: were they being given away by a shop? Were they on special offer, leading some sort of impromptu swan conglomerate to hold a feast for birds? Our questions were met with hostility, demented growls, or indifference.

And so it remains a mystery. Where did the not cross buns come from? Are they being given away for free often? Why were they everywhere? Why would nobody tell me? Oh, and where did the dead lobsters come from? Answers on a postcard please.