Chips on my shoulder

Out with the midnight crisp and ice-cream feasts, and exercise consisting of a walk to the shop for more sweets. In with fruit, popcorn, yoga (I’m shocked too, but that’s what happens when you start hanging out with squatters in France), swimming, and long walks.

Yep, I’ve been on a very healthy buzz these past few months. But every now and again, it’s impossible to resist a bag of chips. Thick or thin, who doesn’t like chips? That’s not a rhetorical question. ‘Fess up.

By God, they’re amazing, and a bag of chipper chips is perhaps the most delicious greasy potato combo going. At around €2.40 a bag, they’re perhaps a bit overpriced, but they sure are filling. They seem cheaper outside Dublin: I came across a bag for €1.60 in Carlow last weekend.

A few weeks ago, I had a few (ahem!) drinks in town and, at 2am, decided to walk all the way from Dame Street to my current temporary abode in Sandyford. And I would have got away with it if  it wasn’t for those pesky chips. I was doing very well until I passed Luigi’s in Ranelagh and was lured in by the smell of hot fat. Oh, yeah, baby. As the chippy goodness settled in my belly, the ability to walk faltered, in slow motion, somewhere around Clonskeagh (luckily, I could hail my choice of eager taxis).

Luigi’s chips were perfect. There’s really not much to making a decent bag of chips – they just need to be freshly made. My biggest gripe about chippers is reheats; those dried out old chips that have been left under the lights for a while. It happens in the best of chippers, but there’s no way of knowing what you’re going to get until you tuck in. It’s so disappointing. Reheats are a soiled product, and serving them should be forbidden. You know, the same laws that govern the sale of e-coli, herpes, and whatnot.

Other, more minor gripes about chippers:

• The price of curry chips. Why does it cost an extra €2 – or more – for a bit of consistently mediocre packet curry sauce? And the amount of chips served in the tray is almost always smaller than what you’d get in a bag.
• The continued existence of taco chips. You people should be ashamed.

What annoys you about chippers? And what puts you in a happy, chipper mood?